My girly side and my nerdy side are constantly at odds. Growing up on Disney princess movies turned me into a quasi-typical, young, American female. I was Belle once for Halloween. I also ran around the house, pretending to be Pocahontas mourning the bitter farewell of John Smith. Whether or not it’s normal that this obsession has lasted into my college years is debatable.
And then, there’s Star Wars.
“Emily, I am your father…”
I have long debates with myself as to whether I would be a Jedi or a Sith Lord (Just so you know, I would be a Jedi, because their skills with Light Sabers are unmatched. However, I would use the Force more liberally than do most Jedi. Plus I like Jedi robes, and don’t wish to have a disfigured face as it seems most Sith Lords do). I even call people “young padawan” sometimes…
The battle between these halves came to a culmination the other day while I was out shopping:
There is this new, magical store nearby called Five Below. It’s like a glorified Dollar Store. Upon walking in, you’re assaulted with exciting trinkets you don’t really need, but all of a sudden know you must have. It’s beautiful, really. Great for the impulsive buyer, because everything is five dollars or less.
As I meandered around the store, discovering things I never knew I needed, I noticed a poster printed with an entirely too-large Justin Bieber. Despite being off-put by this mediocre, teen-pop sensation, I stopped to take a look. I flipped through the frames when, glory of glories! A Star Wars poster! No, two! I must buy these and put them in my room next semester!
I continued flipping to see what my other options were. Then, there they were. A Tangled poster right next to a Disney Princess poster. My childhood dreams becoming a reality! (I was never allowed to have posters as a child. Pins in walls and tape tearing off paint gave my parents nightmares. They also thought it was tacky.) I suddenly realized I couldn’t buy both sets of posters. It would create completely clashing decor.
It’s situations like this that I face every day. I practically lead a double life. Do I give in to my girlish tendencies and sing Disney songs loudly and shamelessly? Or do I show off my inner nerd by making that awesome Star Wars (or Lord of the Rings) reference? It’s almost like one side is the Galactic Empire and the other the Rebel Alliance–both warring for dominance in the galaxie that is my mind. I live with the constant fear of potentially making the wrong reference to the wrong group of people. Saying the wrong thing could leave me ostracized.
With a heavy heart, the Disney posters won out (Luckily, there weren’t any Lord of The Rings posters, because then I really would have been in a bind). Not necessarily because I like princesses more, but mostly because they would better match my already established furnishings.
Now that I think of it, I will most likely go back and get the Star Wars posters. I’ve been thinking about them more than is likely acceptable (or even healthy). I’ll be in an apartment next year, so I can always put them in the living room. (Right, roomies?) But while I may find a solution to the poster problem, will the problem of my warring personalities ever be resolved?
It’s hard to love Star Wars and Disney, Lord of the Rings and high heels. I’ve yet to meet anyone who shares my strong affinity for both.
Perhaps one day I will reconcile the girl and the nerd within me, bringing balance to the force. And we shall have…
Peace…
Chassez le naturel, il revient au galop,
Emily
La Vie, Selon Emily 
No need to reconcile, padawan. Both sides you are. 😉
Hope so, I do. For reading, I thank you! (:
It must be very difficult for you at costume parties. Do you find yourself swayed one way or the other by the company you’re keeping, perhaps?
I do like that quote, by the way. ‘Chassez le naturel, il revient au galop.’ I had to google it but it’s very good.
Unfortunately, I haven’t been invited to many costume parties. Though they’re right up my ally. I like dressing up. I do feel it would be hard to decide what to wear…
I do get swayed by the company I keep, however when I’m with my very girly friends (some of whom haven’t even seen Star Wars–a sin if ever there was one) and I think of an amazing Star Wars quote or reference, I have to bottle it up inside me. Or I share it with myself and imagine the conversation that would accompany:
“It’s almost like I’m Han Solo and I owe all this money to Jabba the Hut.”
“Oh my gosh, Emily. It’s totally like that. What an awesome Star Wars reference. I appreciate that so much!”
“Thanks, Emily. I knew you would.”
And regarding the quote: Thank you. I quite like it myself. I guess I’ve been a little deceptive, as I really don’t know very many French proverbs, so I Google them, too. I know French well enough to decipher what most of them say, though.
A cool compromise for the costume party thing would be dressing up as Arwen or someone similar.There would be the Lot£R reference, but she also dresses kind of in a long-flowing-princessy-dress way.
Oo, nice! I like the way you think! Thanks for reading! (: