During the summer my mom leaves us a list of chores to be done before she returns from work. They usually consist of things such as “clean the kitchen,” “fold the clothes,” etc.
As a proponent of child labor (that was a joke) and because of my dictatorial tendencies and hatred of household chores, I will probably do something similar to my children one day. Why do yourself what you can force your kids to do? Of course, I’ll tell them that working builds character and responsibility. But let’s face it, I just want to make them do the stuff I don’t want to do.
Chores don’t always have to be a chore, though (despite the fact that the word “chore” would suggest otherwise). I like to keep things interesting.
Chore List for Future Offspring:
- Clean the kitchen and fold the clothes (there’s no sense in altering tradition).
- Transform the house into an anti-zombie fortress (set up stakes outside, assemble the weaponry, gather food supplies, etc.).
- Take the dog out. To kill zombies (or to scare the neighborhood kids, whichever scenario applies).
- Practice the cross-bow for 30 minutes. On a target, or on actual zombies.
- Sing a woodland-creature-attracting song and attract the woodland creatures.
- Force them to help you scrub the floors and make clothes.
- Ignore your fairy godmother. She speaks lies.
- Enlist aforementioned woodland creatures and lying fairy godmother into our zombie apocalypse survival alliance.
- Challenge your sister to a mud-wrestling match. Whoever wins gets to eat tonight. Whoever loses, the zombies get to eat.
- Read something of substance, namely, the classics (or a Zombie Survival Guide).
- Be able to have a discussion with me about one current event (not the zombie apocalypse) nationally or world-wide (what a curse having a journalist as a mother will be!).
Ce que chante la corneille, chante le corneillon,